There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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