you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
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We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
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You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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