i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
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I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
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He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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