I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
