Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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