atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Holy sore nipples Batman
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
