He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
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Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
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Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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