Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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