i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
