are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
