you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
