I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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