i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
