she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
