we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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