new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
