He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
