help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
