I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
