toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
