you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
