We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
we're so committed to being not committed
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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