jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
