So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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You. Win. At. Life.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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