so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
