Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
