Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
