so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
