and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
