I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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