ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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