I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
