your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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