3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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