it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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