I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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