Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
