Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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