Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
