How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
