Texts From Last Night

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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?

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  (228): Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table? http://tfl.nu/oj90
  Replies (37) Good night (4768) Bad night (816)
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  (310): View more from California

  I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..

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  (310): I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas.. http://tfl.nu/m0nn
  Replies (24) Good night (3338) Bad night (781)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus

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  (937): i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus http://tfl.nu/ioq2
  Replies (26) Good night (8455) Bad night (695)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.

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  (214): I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars. http://tfl.nu/iixj
  Replies (20) Good night (972) Bad night (6614)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.

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  (956): Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs. http://tfl.nu/dv3c
  Replies (41) Good night (7185) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.

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  (705): You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden. http://tfl.nu/3tyu
  Replies (11) Good night (1903) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.

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  (203): She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level. http://tfl.nu/viu0
  Replies (15) Good night (5211) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday

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  (281): Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday http://tfl.nu/9ias
  Replies (14) Good night (1458) Bad night (2842)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.

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  (509): Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested. http://tfl.nu/8mit
  Replies (3) Good night (1158) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Your blankets are not drunk friendly

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  (706): Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving (706): Your blankets are not drunk friendly http://tfl.nu/10kf
  Replies (2) Good night (829) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.

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  (414): I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid. http://tfl.nu/33wc
  Replies (3) Good night (394) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.

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  (781): You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/nrl0
  Replies (11) Good night (1510) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.

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  (307): We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying. http://tfl.nu/19ej
  Replies (2) Good night (1398) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?

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  (401): Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer? http://tfl.nu/q3x6
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit

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  (408): I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit http://tfl.nu/wxxo
  Replies (1) Good night (288) Bad night (510)

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