yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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