didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.