She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested