sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.