the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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