I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i drank out of a bidet.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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