the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
