it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
