thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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