No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
