Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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