we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
