Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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