take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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