I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
