I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
