This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
