you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Panties = found
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