Duck Duck Cougar?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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