his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
