I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
