i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
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I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm always down for nudity.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize